Books, books, books!

This post has been "brewing" for awhile... so I thought I'd finally put it together.

To help endure the wait to bring Sarah home, I decide to educate myself about adoption, attachment, and parenting in general. I joined yahoo groups about adoption, talked with friends who had adopted, and read adoptive family blogs (of course!). Our social worker also suggested a few books that were helpful. Today I thought I'd share some of my favorite adoption books.

These are all excellent resources for adoptive parents. I haven't read every page of every book, but I have found them helpful along the way. The last book is a "love and logic" book from Cline and Fay. I really like the love and logic books, and try to use these parenting techniques.

As helpful as these books are, the most helpful advice I received throughout our journey came from other adoptive parents who have "been there, done that." And I think it's also true that every adoption is unique. It is important to be prepared, but in my opinion, some things you just can't prepare for and you have to learn as you go.

It is truly a humbling and amazing experience to finally meet your new son or daughter and then try to figure out what makes this little one "tick". And usually that takes time. Time for both the child and the parents. I think we are much too hard on ourselves as mothers, especially when we can't immediately fix it or "make it better." It's a big adjustment for everyone, and patience is definitely a virtue. :)

A friend and adoptive mom told me (shortly before we traveled to China) to trust my "mama's heart." This proved to be the very best advice, and yet is was so simple.

There were moments during those first few weeks and months that I was so overwhelmed and discouraged because I felt like I wasn't always connecting with my daughter. During those moments, I wasn't sure what to do. It was like the "best of times, and (sometimes) the worst of times."

So I spent a lot of time in prayer, and a lot of time "trusting my mama's heart." I didn't pull out a book to decide what to do, but relied on what God was gently telling me in my heart. And I have grown so much from that experience!

OK, back to the books... here are some books (shown above) that we have about Chinese culture and folklore (click on the books if you want to enlarge). There are TONS more out there! One of my concerns as an adoptive parent is to give Sarah an understanding and appreciation of her birth culture. Since she's still pretty young, we thought it might be helpful to start reading these types of books to her (and her brothers as well) and telling her about her adoption story. We have made little photo albums about her life in China and I am working on a life book that tells her story.

And these last books are about adoption, mostly about children who were adopted from China. After we got PA, one of the first books I purchased for Sarah was I Love you Like Crazy Cakes. I remember reading it to my mom over the phone and crying. It just touched my heart so deeply.

Wow, this might be my wordiest post ever! So, there you have it. Some of my favorite books, great advice from friends, and lessons learned along the way.